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" Oh, is that all?" replies the girl. The man can't believe her casual response. "That's how they communicate! Mum was simply saying, 'Are you going to get this asshole a drink?' and Dad was replying, 'No, screw him. I'm watching the match.'"Four old retired guys are walking down a street in London. They turn a corner and see a sign that says "Old Timers Bar -- ALL drinks 10p." They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too good to be true.Graeme, the old bartender, says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"It's a fully stocked bar, so each man orders a martini. In no time, the bartender serves up four iced martinis -- shaken, not stirred -- and says, "That'll be 10p each, please."The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40p, finish their martinis, and order another round.Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with. Be sure to count in aloud voice Wendy." Yes Mistress," the blindfolded Walt replied.Miss Satin took her time and went to a closet. She returned with atelescoping metal rod like an old indoor TV ariel. She walked over closeto Walt and bent over, drawing the rod back. She swung it hard landing ablow across the stocking covered arch of Walt's foot which was stretchedup off the floor."Ow!" Walt shouted, then quickly called out, "One."He next blow hit his other arch just as hard. Walt could do nothing torelieve the stinging, or even move his foot without putting even morepressure on his wrists by which he had been hanging since 11 P.M. lastnight. She continued to alternate the blows on his feet until he finallycalled out, "Seven."Miss Satin looked at her watch and said, "Only 15 minutes more dear." Inspite of the blindfold, Jean could see that Walt looked relieved. "Haveyou been milked this morning dear?" Miss Satin asked."No Mistress," Walt replied. Miss Satin explained to Jean in.
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Now for the interesting part… The next Friday was to be real hot so it was suggested at home that I do the yard deal early and get home to help on the farm. So I headed to Aunt “A’s” about an hour earlier than normal. I parked my bike and entered the back yard to announce my presence. I noticed the light on in the bathroom that was accessable from the garage and the shower was running. I thought she would not hear me, but I might grab a good show through the slightly open window. I’d better not…might get caught. So, I wheeled the mower and edger out of the garage and started clean up after the dog. When the shower stopped, I called out to her, “Here already?” she asked, “Gonna be hot today, early start,” I replied. “OK” was the reply. I was about the start the edger when I figured I’d better check the gas…both low. I walked back into the garage to get the can. As I turned to go out with the can “A” emerged from the bathroom, I was 10 feet from nirvana. .

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